Genuinely Living Life Well: What?!?

I have had plenty of experience living life any way BUT well. In fact, more often than not when I have been given the chance to do so, I have sabotaged myself. Many years of undiagnosed clinical depression and ADD, self-medicating and angry, took their toll. So why am I starting a blog about living life well? Over the years I have developed a practice of trying to be self-aware and brutally honest with myself in the doing, and it did not take long before I had to acknowledge that I had no idea how to even accept myself. That led me to spend a lot of time considering what it means to live life well, and to try to learn to do it. But guess what? It doesn't come easy. At least not to me. Failed education choices, failed career choices, failed relationships - I myself was anything but well, never mind how I lived my life. My wife should have read the fine print in the self-disclosure agreement...

I have also defied death multiple times in multiple ways, to the point that there is no way I should still be alive. In 1997 I had a car accident that should never have happened, but should have killed me, and I have lived in constant pain since that time. That led to 2 cervical spine surgeries, which led to scar tissue build up around my spinal cord, which led to me being possibly permanently crippled and in constant terrible pain. How do you manage to live well when everything you do comes with a calculation of the impact it will have on your level of pain?

So, the only possible conclusion to be reached is that I am a true subject matter expert on living life well. Right? Ummm, no. But this blog is not just about me. It's also about you, and it's about us, and maybe between all of us we can all get better at how we do life. So what does it mean to live life well? Is it about being happy? Author Brad Thor defines happiness as having something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to. Sure, these things are all important and valuable, but the truth is that happiness is an emotion, not a state of being. We can feel happy, but we actually cannot BE happy. And let's face it, we all know to our core that happiness is a fickle mistress, and cannot be relied upon to stick around. So if living life well is not about feeling good, then what is it?

Here's what I think - living life well is about truly being in the moment, living the life you're in instead of the one you'll be in tomorrow, or next week. Care for yourself, care for others, and let others care for you. Author Spider Robinson says that shared joy is increased, and shared pain is diminished, and that is how we are meant to live - together, not alone. I also tell my kids that all we ask of them is that they do the best job they can at being the best version of themselves possible. Then, when they fall short, that they do their best to take ownership of their mistakes and do their best to make it right, and then go back to being their best possible selves. No one can ask more of them than that. I am no life choice guru, unless it's as a cautionary tale, but I know this - together we can do it. Through this blog I will offer questions and opinions on subjects that have become significant for me, and by helping each other hopefully we can all do better at living life well.